Do you have questions? Let me help answer the most obvious ones…
What is a death doula and what does “doula” mean?
Doula is Greek in origin, and it means “woman who serves.” However, nowadays, more than just women are getting into doula work, which I think is totally awesome! To me, a doula is someone who supports people through life’s biggest transitions. Birth doulas are becoming increasingly popular, and they are those who help mother, baby and family through the birthing process. I see very little difference with the dying process and the need for support is just as great. A death doula is similar to a birth doula. One compassionately assists those coming into this world and one compassionately assists those leaving this world. This includes providing emotional, spiritual, informational, and physical support with the goal being a low stress, comfortable, personalized–even, dare I say, positive–experience for clients and their loved ones. Death Doulas work alongside family members, friends and even medical, palliative and hospice workers in hospitals, senior care facilities and private home settings.
Death Doula vs End-of-Life Doula vs Death Midwife…is there a difference?
You will find these terms commonly used interchangeably and to most doulas they mean the exact same thing. I prefer the term “end-of-life doula” (sometimes it’s even shortened to EOL doula) because to me it seems to be the gentlest yet descriptive term. However, I want to cover all of my bases as far as internet searches are concerned so you’ll see me use a variety of terms on this website.
Terms and Definitions for End-of-Life Service Providers
There is an overabundance of confusing terms in the death care industry but luckily some standards have been set to help the general public better navigate who does what. After careful consideration of the data and research from a wide variety of resources and individuals, the National Home Funeral Alliance (NHFA) has chosen to employ the following terms and they are the ones that I have adopted for my business:
- Death and Dying Guide —One who works with the dying person and family to accompany them throughout the death experience, facilitates family-led after-death home or facility care, and may attend to spiritual and ceremonial needs as requested
- End-of-Life Doula — One who accompanies a dying person and/or family and friends through a personal, intentional, and conscious dying process to achieve a conscious death
- Home Funeral Guide — One who empowers families and/or friends to care for their own dead, including educating, consulting, and guiding them through after-death care
- Celebrant — One who works with family and/or friends to co-create a highly customized ceremony (for funeral, memorial, celebration of life)
Terms and Definitions for Advocates and Educators
- Home Funeral Advocate, Home Funeral Educator — While not included in the lexicon of end-of-life care providers who educate families through consulting, coaching, demonstration and myriad other means privately, home funeral advocates/educators do vitally important work by educating publicly through presentations, workshops, local tabling opportunities, and other events aimed at developing a global understanding of the home funeral movement.
(Glossary respectfully taken from The National Home Funeral Alliance)
How is a doula different than a hospice volunteer or home health aide?
We are there to offer a calming presence and emotional support to the client, their partners and family members. We are to there to offer non-biased, evidence-based information and empower our clients to make informed decisions that are right for them. We anticipate emotional, spiritual, informational and physical needs and make plans accordingly. We are generalists usually with some relevant specialties (ex. law, nursing, massage therapy experience). We are prepared to make referrals to community resources and assist with making connections. We offer non-medical comfort measures and physical support. Lastly, we offer logistical support such as family respite, meal preparation, household help, errand running, etc… Home health aides fulfill basic personal and health care needs whereas hospice volunteers primarily companion the dying but are usually available for a limited number of hours.
Can a doula help you plan a funeral? Are doulas the same as funeral directors?
Doulas can assist you in creating a highly personalized celebration of life or memorial service for yourself, a loved one or even a beloved pet. These events can be in-person or virtually. Virtual services are increasing in popularity due to the pandemic and family travel constraints. Unfortunately, in many states, like my home state of New York, they cannot assist you in planning a funeral because planning a service where a body is present is considered funeral directing and is illegal for someone unlicensed to participate in these activities. In lieu of that, I do offer home funeral consulting services and home funeral kits.
Are doulas certified or licensed?
End-of-life doula work is a relatively new, unregulated field. A few states have passed legislation licensing birth doulas; however, there are currently no regulations for end-of-life doulas. This is a rather exciting time for the field because it’s in its infancy and is being shaped by those doing the work. Doulas have the flexibility to offer services that are specifically tailored to their unique skill sets instead of being prescribed by a certification board.
Are doulas covered under health insurance or Medicaid?
Since some states are requiring licensure of birth doulas, those states are also enabling their services to be eligible for Medicaid reimbursement. I’m hoping this trend continues and that insurance companies do the math and realize doulas save them a considerable amount of money. Our services keep patients in their homes and out of the hospital. This cost savings alone is worth reimbursing.
How far am I willing to travel?
Well, thanks to video chats, many things can be accomplished with just a phone these days, which is wonderful. If hands-on care is needed or work that requires me to leave the Central New York area, then I’ll be more than willing to consider that on a case-by-case basis. Visit my services page for more information.
What do I charge?
On average, I charge from $25-$50/hour for my services. If you are experiencing financial hardship, I do accept a limited number of sliding fee scale clients based on the honor system. (Thanks to The Philly Death Doula Collective for developing the following sliding fee scale. I totally lifted it from their website because it’s so great and I like to give credit where it’s due.) I accept cash, credit card or check. Things like long distance travel, equipment rentals, or buying supplies, groceries, etc… are of course extra. Payment is expected upfront, unless previously agreed upon.
My Sliding Fee Scale
Tier 1
- I frequently stress about meeting basic needs and don’t always achieve them.
- I have debt that sometimes prohibits me from meeting my basic needs.
- Working through survival credit card debt.
- I have no access to savings.
- I have no or very limited expendable income. I qualify for government assistance, including food stamps and healthcare.
- My family does not have access to assets; I send money to my family when able.
- I rent lower-end properties or have unstable housing.
Price: $0 to $15/hour
Tier 2
- I may stress about meeting my needs sometimes, but I regularly achieve them.
- I have some debt, but it does not prohibit attainment of basic needs. May include student loans, and most people in my family have higher education.
- I might have some savings.
- I can take a vacation annually or every few years.
- I have some expendable income; able to have some new items and some thrift.
- My family has some assets, like owning a home. My housing is stable and mid- to higher end.
Price: $15 to $30/hour
Tier 3
- I am able to meet all of my basic needs.
- I may have some debt but it does not prohibit attainment.
- I have access to savings and both earned and unearned assets.
- I can afford an annual vacation and/or take time off without financial burden.
- I have expendable income.
- My family has assets like investments and property. Someone else contributes to my rent, mortgage, or down-payment.
- I own my home and/or rent a higher-end property. I have or anticipate inheriting property. I own or lease a car.
Price: $30 to $50/hour
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