Tag: end of life planning

End-of-Life Education

Helping a Senior Loved One Navigate Financial Challenges While Grieving

Jaime Lee Hazard

(Welcome our guest writer, Camille Johnson from the website Bereaver.com. Thank you Camille for this wonderful article!)

Whether or not it is expected, losing a spouse often leaves seniors feeling helpless and overwhelmingly sad as they encounter life without their dearest companion. And as they face grief and unfamiliarity, they also must make difficult financial decisions. Considering the emotions involved, many seniors cannot make these decisions.

If you want to help an older adult maintain sound finances while grieving the loss of their spouse, there are many ways to do so. Below, we discuss a few practical ideas.

Sit Down With Their Budget

The first step in helping a senior through financial challenges is to assess their budget. They will likely have many hurdles to overcome in the coming months, and they need to know where they stand.

This is when you will look at all the potential costs, earnings, and changes that come with the death of their spouse, such as funeral expenses, life insurance, social security benefits, etc. Figure out how much they need to live off of, factor in all their current debts and costs, and write out a simple budget that will direct their spending.

Go Over Funeral Planning      

If your loved one is in charge of funeral arrangements, they must consider many financial factors. For instance, they will need to choose whether to bury or cremate the body and where to hold the service. Many grieving people lean toward the most straightforward options available, which means your loved one will need your assistance when making decisions.

Research various funeral homes to compare prices and services, and offer to help with details your loved one is not prepared to consider.

Talk About Sales

Many surviving seniors opt to sell their homes. Not only can this help for emotional reasons, but it can also free up cash to help cover the various expenses they face.

If your loved one needs to improve their financial situation, consider helping them put their home on the market. Help them go through the costs, determine how much they could make from a home sale, and decide whether or not it is worth going through the process. If they choose to sell their home, be sure to find an experienced real estate agent to help walk them through the journey.

If they also have a business, assist them with the decision and process of closing or selling it. This may be relatively straightforward if it simply involves the sale of stock. Alternatively, it could be more legally complex if the business is transferred as an LLC.

These situations can often be stressful, and some helpful advice on good decision making may be in order. It’s most important to take a breath and pause before making a major decision. Your loved one may need time to consider all the factors and priorities necessary, but going through these decisions before they pass will avoid a potentially difficult probate sale.

Collect Life Insurance       

Though life insurance beneficiaries are not required to make claims immediately, your loved one may need to access money quickly to cover the bills. If that is the case, make sure your loved one obtains their insurance policy. And help them file a claim with the provider.

You will need to get a claim form and a copy of the death certificate, as well as the policy document. Gathering all the necessary information and filing a claim can be overwhelming, so help your loved one organize and prepare the documents.

Your loved one may also have survivor benefits available to help them financially. Research social security benefit rules with your loved one to determine the best time to start receiving benefits. They may only get around 70% of their spouse’s benefits if they apply at 60 years old instead of waiting until they are 67. But if they start receiving the benefits earlier, they will be collecting money for a more extended period.

Work With Professionals

Finally, remember that you do not have to be the only one to help your loved one. If you try to go at it alone, you risk becoming overwhelmed yourself, which isn’t going to help you or your loved one. Find professionals who can help you through each step. Along with finding an experienced realtor, work with a financial advisor to help with your loved one’s financial planning and budgeting.

Another service to consider for your loved one is Wind and Wing. An experienced doula can help your loved one move through the process of loss after another’s passing.

No senior should have to deal with financial decisions on their own while grieving the loss of their spouse. Consider the tips above for helping your loved one navigate the various economic challenges ahead, and hire any professionals who can help throughout the journey. Remember to practice extra compassion with your loved one, and foster your health and well-being through it all.

Journey Through Life & Death

Happy Business Updates

Jaime Lee Hazard

Bonjour! I’ve got happy doula business news. In this video I share what I’ve been up to as far as Wind & Wing is concerned. It’s been quite a year for the business and I’m looking forward to a prosperous future. I’ve been able to secure funding to grow and I’m extremely nervous and excited! A part of the process has been revamping this website, which I’m so proud of. Hopefully, this is the place where you can find end-of-life resources, services (both in-person and online) and a shop full of cremation vessels, memorial jewelry, home funeral kits and Rest of Your Life Planners©. Yes, ten years in the making, I finally finished making the end-of-life planning book that I’ve always dreamed of. Currently, this planner is only a New York State version but keep checking back because I will slowly be adding in versions for all states. There’s still lots to do and thanks for being here for it all.

If you don’t have the chance to watch the video, just to summarize, I’ve been busy writing a business plan and working on a microenterprise grant for Wind & Wing and I’m happy to report that my hard work paid off! I now have a grant to invest in marketing the business and hopefully once things pick-up, I will be able to have the funds to hire a part-time doula. Yes!

I met many people along the way that were so helpful. I can’t stress the importance of getting help when it comes to starting a business. There are just way too many things that you need expertise in to do it easily and correctly.  If you’re in New York State, here’s the link to the Small Business Development Center. If you’ve been dreaming of starting a small business, I can’t stress how important it is to get a hold of them or a similar program in your neck of the woods. They have so many resources to get you on your feet and going. Plus, since Covid, they’ve expanded their offerings.

 

Journey Through Life & Death

Doulapalooza & Agent for Disposition of Remains

Jaime Lee Hazard

Hello friends! In this installment of my end-of-life video series, I briefly touch on the takeaways from NEDA’s Doulapalooza back in October (yes, I am super late to the game here) and the Appointment of Agent to Control Disposition of Remains form. Additionally, I address wills and trusts and point you to this fantastic resource which will help you create an online last will and testament. This video will conclude our review of the essential advance directive forms. Wahooo! We got through the rather boring–but extremely important–paperwork part. Now we can get a little more creative with our content. If you want a New York State version of all of the advance directives, plus A LOT more good end-of-life planning stuff, get your hands on my Rest of Life Planner.  As time goes by, I will be adding planners for each state to the online shop so keep checking back. 

Journey Through Life & Death

HIPAA & Your Famous Last Words

Jaime Lee Hazard

This is the part where we mix the creative with the mundane. Let’s address the mundane first: HIPAA. You know it. You hate it. But what the heck is it anyways? Well, to put it in the most basic of fashions, HIPPA is there to protect your privacy. You don’t want just anyone having access to your deep, dark medical secrets, do you? Of course not. So, you need to tell your medical health care providers just who can have access to your medical records. Here is the official New York State release of information. If you live in a different state, of course you will be able to find something similar by doing a quick internet search. Here is a brief article reviewing the importance of filling out the form. Okay, now on to the fun stuff…

Think about the words that inspire you. Did you write them? Are they from your favorite song, poem, movie, book…? Write them down (or type them if that works better for you). Put them in your death binder (or get yourself a Rest of Your Life Planner). Your death binder is not supposed to be some dark place where all of your end-of-life forms go to die. The death binder is a place to celebrate your life. Celebrate all the things that make you…you. It’s your legacy. So start committing to capturing some of it for family and friends to enjoy when you’re gone. If some of those words are destined to become a part of your memorial service or funeral, make sure to indicate that in your living will. Remember the one I had you fill out from Cake.com. There is a place for such information there.

Okay, until next time… enjoy pondering and gathering the words that helped shape the person you are today. Put some thought into and enjoy the process. 

Journey Through Life & Death

Power of Attorney

Jaime Lee Hazard
Okay, let me start with the caveat that I know next to nothing about the legal system. With that being said, take all of this with a hefty grain of salt. However, I feel like I can be of some assistance since I’ve recently had to navigate this process while trying to plan for my father’s future care. Trust me, you can’t get very far applying for long-term Medicaid or assisted living if you don’t have power of attorney.

First, you may ask “Isn’t being a health care proxy also having power of attorney?” The answer is yes and no. If your loved one is incapacitated and you are the health care proxy, you have control over medical decisions. That gives you medical power of attorney. BUT, you have no control over financial decisions. I’ve linked an article here that goes over the important differences between the two. One of the most common problems the article cites is parents wanting to equally divide up the responsibilities amongst children so they designate one as the health care proxy and the other as the financial power of attorney. This leads to one child choosing a specific senior living facility for their parent(s) and the other child having to release the funds to pay for it. You can see how this can lead to conflict. So if you’re a parent, don’t opt for this strategy and instead designate one person to be both.

Of course the form is different in all states so you will once again have to do some Googling but here is New York’s short form. This is one form not to mess around with so make sure you consult a lawyer if you have any questions. If you are someone’s POA, make sure you don’t sign any paperwork that makes you liable for paying off your loved one’s debt. Places will trick you so read the fine print. This form literally gives someone else to access to your finances. The good news is that as long as you’re of sound mind, you can revoke the POA if need be. You can also add different provisions in the optional section labeled “Modifications.” For example, according to Legal Zoom, you can make it a springing POA by inserting: “This POWER OF ATTORNEY shall become effective upon my subsequent incapacity,” otherwise the document is effective immediately. You can also add the manner in which your incapacity would be determined, such as by stating it requires certification of incapacity by two physicians who have examined you.

So I hope you find this helpful. The POA is definitely something to get squared away before anything bad happens.

Journey Through Life & Death

The Living Will

Jaime Lee Hazard

Hello friends! It’s been a hot minute. I had a family emergency that has been requiring a lot of time and focus lately so my projects had to be set aside for a little while. The unfortunate irony is that my family emergency pretty much had everything to do with this series. The fortunate part is that my family member is doing much better, which makes me so happy but he did give us quite a scare.

So let’s review…. First we gathered our supplies. Second, we filled out our advance directive which consisted of the heath care proxy/durable medical power of attorney form, the living will, and perhaps organ donation information. Now we’re on to our third step which is a more robust version of the living will. As you probably noticed, the living will in the advance directive was rather….basic. It doesn’t really cover much. Remember, the idea of this is to make it so your loved ones have clear, concise directions, instead of wringing their hands and pulling their hair out. Ambiguity is not a nice parting gift.

The first thing that I would suggest is ordering a copy of the Five Wishes (https://fivewishes.org). It’s a legally binding living will, meets HIPAA requirements, is recognized in most states and most states don’t require it to be notarized. Moreover, it covers some emotional and spiritual aspects of dying that the advance directive fails to. Individual copies are $5.00 and once you’re done filling it out you can make copies for your medical team, loved ones, your proxy and your refrigerator folder.

The next thing that I would strongly suggest is going to Cake (https://www.joincake.com), sign up, and create an end-of-life plan with them. It’s totally free! What’s great about Cake is they ask you in-depth questions that a proxy and loved ones would need to know: from what music you’d like at your funeral to who should care for your pets, etc… This is the kind of detail that I like to see. Plus, once you’re done, you can email your proxy and loved ones a link to your answers on their site. Remember to print out copies as well because the last thing anyone is going to remember is that there is a site called “Cake” that has your wishes on it that you may have sent them years ago. That’s why I like to do a combo of Five Wishes and Cake.

Okay, you have your homework. Now get to it. Remember, if you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

Journey Through Life & Death

Prep Yourself

Jaime Lee Hazard

Okay party people, let’s do this! So this year I’ve decided to get my act together when it comes to life, specifically the part of life that we all want to avoid…death. I’m hoping that if I get myself situated, my 72-year-old mother will follow suit because currently her end of life plan consists of a handwritten letter attached to the fridge that basically just says to not have an estate sale where people comb through her used underwear looking for gems. I fear the day that something happens to her and I have no real guidance whatsoever on what to do. So I’m determined to not to inflict the same torture on my loved ones.

Initially, I had planned to begin this process at the beginning of the year but in order to reach the most people possible, I knew that I’d have to include a YouTube component. Yikes! The idea of uploading an awkward video for all the world to ridicule is daunting but I feel like this work is important enough to get over my ego and insecurities. So the time has come, better late than never I suppose.

This is what I consider to be a death journey and despite the bleak nature of the subject matter, it very much is about life as well. We will start with the basic forms needed that everyone, no matter your age, should have filled out just in case something unfortunate happens tomorrow. Once the most time sensitive documents are dispensed with, we will journey through the disposition of our bodies and then travel back through time from there. Why am I starting at the end, you ask? The last portion of this journey has a life coaching component that meets you where you are today and what a better way to gain some perspective and appreciation for the life you’re living now than to plan for its end.

Suggested Supplies

  • Access to a printer, printer ink & printer paper
  • A pen
  • Some way to save your digital files (ex. USB drive or Dropbox)
  • One folder
  • One 3-ring binder
  • One magnetic file holder like this one
  • Sheet protectors like these
  • Perhaps some art supplies if you like
  • Maybe some personal photos that you love
  • In the future you might want to get a small fire-proof safe for your documents

See, most of this is all stuff you probably already have lying around your house so there is really no excuse for not following along with me (yes, I’m talking to you, MOTHER!). If you don’t have these supplies, don’t sweat it. As long as you have access to a printer, you’re golden.